The Clark County Commission told county staffers to open the all-but-finished Lake Mead Boulevard interchange with the Las Vegas Beltway. Although some opponents objected, predicting death on the highway, this was really the only real option. What kind of government spends millions to build a freeway interchange and then leaves it unfinished? Only a lame one.”There’s every reason to open it; there’s only a few reasons not to open it,” said Commissioner Chip Maxfield. There was a hope to delay it until neighborhood traffic patterns got established, but “that hope has come to reality that we have a piece of infrastructure and the community wants it open.”"Once we go forward with the project, we have to open it to the public as soon as we possibly can,” added Commissioner Bruce Woodbury, for whom the Beltway is named.In other words, old people, get ready for more traffic!

The Clark County Commission this morning postponed for two weeks the hiring of Republican lobbyist Robert Uithoven to advocate for University Medical Center, after concerns were raised about his affiliation with Gov. Jim Gibbons and Las Vegas Sands Corp. Chairman Sheldon Adelson. The case against Uithoven was made most acutely by the Las Vegas Gleaner on Monday.

Yes, the Clark County Commission has a 5-2 Democratic majority. Sure, it could very likely be a 7-0 majority. Sure, Uithoven is a committed Republican, as are the unpopular Adelson and the pathetic Gibbons. And Democrats handing tax dollars from an overwhelmingly Democratic county to a member of the GOP seems unseemly.

But consider this: Lobbying is about relationships. People are hired to make a case with lawmakers with whom they’ve got an open door. And Uithoven has an open door with the governor, who Uithoven is trying to save from the inevitably negative verdict of history.

Plus, it would take a miracle to get Gibbons to support UMC anyway, given his view that government shouldn’t compete with the private sector. Why not give Uithoven a shot?

U.S. Rep. Jon Porter got slightly less outrageous applause and cheering at Monday’s Congregation Ner Tamid debate at the Flamingo Library than did his Democratic opponent, state Sen. Dina Titus. We’ll just bet she’s hoping it goes that way on Election Day, too.

But maybe it was confusion. The candidates were remarkably similar in their positions on energy (some drilling is OK, but we need renewables, too) on Russian aggression (diplomacy and sanctions, but no military), on paying for the Iraq War (Iraqi money should do it, not the taxpayers) and getting the hell out of Iraq (listen to the generals on the ground; do it safely).

But don’t let that fool you into thinking there’s no difference between Titus and Porter. She’s the one who’s got some serious momentum in the race, and he’s the one who’s justifiably nervous about keeping his seat.

Porter — after an obvious pander by mentioning his “continued support for the state of Israel” — introduced a shockingly bold agenda: No discrimination, get everyone access to health care and allow every homeowner to participate in the American dream. “I’m proud to be an American,” he (actually) said.

If you said the error in the above is that, by definition, homeowners ARE participating in the American dream, you’re technically correct. But you missed the big one: A Republican wants health care for everybody? Since when?

Titus wasted no time in slamming Porter for voting with Bush, especially on the war, and reminding voters she’d be an independent voice in Washington. In fact, she said the so-called “Gang of 10″ senators trying to find common ground on energy actually mimicked her plan, which includes dipping into the strategic oil reserve, punish price gouging, getting ethanol from Brazil and, yes, drilling. She, unlike Porter, came out against a coal-fired power plant proposed by Nevada Power near Ely.

Porter, with uncharacteristic vigor, slammed Titus for a quote in which she equated political campaign contributions with a guarantee of access to a candidate. “I don’t agree that donations mean access,” Porter said. Oh, and did you know Titus flip-flopped on drilling, voting against a meaningless resolution on the subject in the state Senate but supporting it now? “We can’t afford that kind of leadership,” he said.

(For the record, she said the aforementioned meaningless resolution had no restrictions on oil companies, say, forcing them to sell “American oil” in America.)

He said she took $5,000 from Enron.

She said that was before it was revealed Enron was a bunch of lying, cheating assholes. Oh, and he took $230,000 from Big Oil, while voting for tax breaks for companies making record profits. Talk about corporate assholes!

On the war, Porter noted he’d been to Iraq and Afghanistan four times (and Pakistan, even, where Osama bin Laden is likely still hiding), and mentioned — twice — that he “inherited” the war. (I.e. he didn’t vote for the damn thing.) But he did support the surge and we are “winning,” he said.

The decision on getting out shouldn’t be made by civilians, Porter said, but by generals. Hmmmm, that doesn’t sound very American. Perhaps he’s confusing the U.S. with Pakistan? We’re pretty sure in America the decision on matters of war and peace actually is made by civilians. (Ah, yes, here it is: We were right!)

Porter and Titus share some of the same views on immigration, too, only Porter wants a temporary worker program (favored by business) and Titus wants a pathway to citizenship (favored by immigrants).  And she mocked the concept of a border fence that Porter endorsed, joking that it was vulnerable as soon as immigrants develop what our friends at The Daily Show might call shovel and ladder technology. “I have never seen a fence that people couldn’t climb over or crawl under,” she said.

Based on what we saw, Titus was more restrained than usual, perhaps seeking to avoid a repeat of her contentious 2006 gubernatorial campaign persona, while Porter was more aggressive than usual, perhaps knowing he’s coming from a deficit of voter registration (more than 20,000) and campaign trail energy (Barack Obama at the top of the ticket rather than John McCain). All of that makes for some sweet campaign-trail drama, even if the candidates agreed a little too much for our taste sometimes.

Are we expecting too much out of politics? Have years of observing cynical gamesmanship driven our standards so high that no real life, flesh-and-blood human being could possibly fulfill them? Is that it?

Or have the Democrats once again capitalized on an opportunity to send yet another Republican majority back to Carson City?

Yeah, we’re thinking it’s the latter.

Monday night’s debate at the Flamingo Library (shout out to sponsor Congregation Ner Tamid!) was, at times, physically painful for us to watch, and not just because our ample ass had trouble squeezing into the pint-sized library seat. Democratic state Senate challengers Shirley Breeden and Allison Copening turned in two of the worst performances we’ve ever seen in covering politics. Sadly, their opponents were pretty much right on the money, if not the issues.

As far as we’re concerned, the Democratic Party owes it to voters to field qualified people for public office. That means people who know about the office they’re seeking, and other relevant facts about the state (say, the amount of the budget, the money Nevada spends per student on education, how a bill becomes a law, etc.). Because you know what? The Republicans know those things. And when you don’t know them, you look stupid, and unworthy of office.

And that means there really isn’t a fair contest for the only two state Senate seats that could throw the balance of power to the Democrats. And that is an offense to the party, to the system and to the voters, one that has real consequences for a progressive agenda for Nevada.

Enough ranting. Let’s take a look at the carnage, shall we?

Breeden (running against incumbent Republican Dr. Joe Heck scored twice in her portion of the debate, moderated by my colleague Jon Ralston. First, she correctly identified Gov. Jim Gibbons as the worst governor ever, and two, she correctly upbraided a physician for opposing the concept of forcing insurance companies to actually cover treating diseases. Other than that, put this in the “total disaster” file.

Heck shot back that he opposed Gibbons’s mindless across-the-board budget cutting, and was the first state official to respond to the hepatitis C crisis, even while the governor was still lying about what caused it. (We’re supplying some background information there that Heck omitted, you understand.) The kicker? Heck was in Iraq serving a tour of duty commanding a medical unit when he upstaged the not-ready-for-prime-time governor on the crisis.

When Ralston pressed Breeden on her remark that Gibbons had “acted unilaterally” in making budget cuts, she stammered on for awhile, saying lots of words but making no sense, especially after Ralston noted that the entire Legislature went to a special session in Carson City and rubber-stamped a plan worked out with hardly any gubernatorial input. (Possible alternative answer in case it comes up again: In the early stages of the budget shortfall, Gibbons simply ordered cuts without seeking legislative input. It was only later that he roped the Legislature in his pathetic rodeo of cuts.)

And while Breeden was adamant that we should “work together,” “prioritize” state spending and sure that we “can’t just keep cutting,” she had no answer for where to get new revenue. But she did know where we shouldn’t get it: taxes. At least that’s what she said only seconds before citing an increase in room taxes as one way to go. Seriously.

For his part, Heck found the two most oft-cited examples of government waste that could easily be privatized: the state printing office and the state motor pool. (People have been saying that for years, doc.) He noted he’d voted against pork projects, but even with all of that put together, there’s still a looming deficit. (Needless to say, the Republican is also against raising taxes.)

Education? You guessed it: Breeden wants to work with the superintendent(s) to prioritize what needs to be done. She wants to set short term goals, and long-term goals. “We can always use more funding,” she said.

It was at this point that we wanted to jab our Waterman rollerball directly into our brain, and we were only stayed by the drama on the stage, when Heck went for the jugular, asking Breeden what the state’s per-pupil expenditure was. She looked back with a blank stare, until Ralston intervened. Since she didn’t know, she couldn’t possibly have known that Heck’s figures were inflated by including school construction costs, which some analysts don’t believe should be included. (For the record, we asked, and he had the non-construction sums, too.)

“I think if you’re going to talk about an issue, you need to know what you’re talking about,” he said. Amen to that. Unfortunately, he said he had the endorsement of Breeden’s union, but in fact, he only had the endorsement of the Nevada State Education Association, not the administrator’s union.

(BTW, school district administrators are ineligible to serve in the state Senate, or so says the state constitution. Courts and attorneys general have since disagreed, but they are, plainly, wrong. Remind us to ask Breeden if she intends to resign her job — not take a leave of absence, but resign — should she win the seat.)

Oh, but wait, there’s more.

State Sen. Bob Beers took the stage to declare “this is the funnest job I’ve ever had.” Why? “Occasionally, you get to do good things.” Awwwww.

Copening admitted she was a newcomer to politics, which is probably why she didn’t see the opening when Beers declared government “is not very efficient. It’s not very effective.” Oh, but the private sector is? Sure, Enron, WorldCom, Countrywide, American Airlines, Ford, Chevy, Starbucks — those companies are damn efficient, all right! And effective, too. No layoffs, deficits or investor scandals there. Hell, anybody who works or has worked for a private company knows all about waste and inefficiency every bit as bad as the worst examples in government.

But when Beers suggested a zero-based budget for the state, Copening agreed, just as she did with several other Beers suggestions. Now, we submit that Beers is handsome and charming, but agreeing with your opponent too much makes the audience wonder why you’re running in the first place. Probably to “work across the aisle” or something like that.

“I think at this point, everything needs to be on the table,” Copening said. Everything? Really? Including taxes?

“I’m adamantly opposed to taxes at this time,” she said later. Oh, so everything’s not on the table? So what’s on the table?

A lottery. An idea that’s been proposed unsuccessfully 25 times in the state Legislature since 1975, when Gerald Ford was president and our long national nightmare was over. But 26th time is the charm! Alas, much like Heck’s privatized print shop and motor pool, the lottery would bring in a paltry sum in a state budget that stretches to nearly $7 billion.

Beers, of course, is opposed. Lawmakers would just steal money out the back door once a lottery was in place, and government shouldn’t compete with the private sector (i.e. casinos). But why not? If government is so goddamn inefficient, the private sector has nothing to worry about, right? (That’s what we’re saying, unfortunately, not what Copening said.)

Copening and Beers also disagreed on the ridiculous mandate-on-insurance issue, with her in the right and him with insurance companies, which gave rise to her best line of the night: “The bottom line is he doesn’t work well with others. He doesn’t play well with others.”

Says who? Ralston asked.

Well, ask any Democratic leader, Copening said. And there you go, the revelation of the evening: Democrats don’t like Bob Beers!

Beers defended his 2003 obstinacy against an $833 million tax plan, and said economic recovery was sluggish because of it. Another great issue upon which to make hay, but as you’ll recall, Copening agrees 100 percent that now is not the time to raise taxes.

We’re prepared to submit that both Copening and Breeden are nice, well-intentioned people. We give them major props for having the guts to put their names out there and take the slings and arrows of outrageous criticism from bloggers such as us. But if our brief survey of peeps-in-the-know afterward was any indication, Heck and Beers are headed back to Carson City in February. Granted, there’s still two months  to go, but the two Republicans are not going to get any dumber or less well-prepared, which means a couple of Democrats have their work seriously cut out for them.

If you’re reading this, it means you’re into politics. Either that, or you’ve been secretly sucked in by our hidden HTML coding! Ha! There are no “naked Olympics” on this site! But since you’re here, you may as well keep reading.

At 7 p.m. tonight, Congregation Ner Tamid will sponsor its usual political debate, at the Flamingo Library at 1401 E. Flamingo Road. Candidates for Congressional District 3 (Republican Jon Porter and Democrat Dina Titus) will be there, as well as contenders for Clark County Commission (District A, Democrat Steve Sisolak and Republican Brian Scroggins).

But wait, there’s more! There’s sure to be some fun in the state Senate District 5 (with incumbent Republican Dr. Joe Heck facing off with Democrat Shirley Breeden) and state Senate District 6 (with incumbent Republican Bob Beers going up against Democrat Allison Copening).

We’re especially interested in that last race, and not just because we get mistaken for Beers all the time. (Typical scene: Them: “Are you Sen. Bob Beers?” Us: “Yes I am, and I’ve been thinking, taxes are not so bad after all!” Them: “Oh, say it isn’t so!” Us: “Oh, it’s so. Say, is that a Lexus you’re driving? Oh, man, are you gonna pay!” Them: “Nooooooooo!”)

Anyway, what were we saying? Oh, yeah, the Beers-Copening race. Did you check out Copening’s appearance on Face to Face with Jon Ralston last week? (If not, you can do so here.) It was not her best day on TV, frankly. Let’s hope somebody used the weekend to study up! (Topic No. 1: The lottery: Is the 30th time the charm?)

We know the zeitgeist these days is Barack Obama-style hope. But we’ve never been ones to embrace the zeitgeist.

In fact, we think it could be very likely that Nevada is more royally screwed than ever before, no matter what happens in November’s presidential contest.

The following scenario hinges on several factors, some of which may not come to pass. But if the deadly dominoes fall where we suggest they might, our recommendation is prepare to flee Nevada. Allow the dark cloud of depression to start forming:

First, what if ex-Reno Assemblywoman Sharron Angle’s property tax limitation cap makes it to the ballot, and is approved, this year and again in 2010? (An expected legal challenge from the state teachers union may keep it from the ballot.)

According to the initiative, property taxes could rise only 2 percent per year (for all property, commercial and residential) until it’s sold and reassessed. The net effect would be to cut the follow of dollars from a pipeline that directly supports critical services like police, firefighters, schools, county hospitals and local road-building.

Angle borrowed her solution from California, which unlike Nevada can rely on other streams of tax money, including state and corporate income taxes. And even with those other revenue streams, California’s deficit is nearly three times Nevada’s general-fund budget.

Second, what might happen if the state Supreme Court rules that a trio of initiatives backed by Las Vegas Sands Chairman Sheldon Adelson should go on the ballot? (They’ve been blocked by a court ruling that found the petitions failed to meet standards, but that ruling ma be overturned.)

The Las Vegas Visitors and Convention Authority would have to shunt more dollars to local services, but the real kicker is the one that would require a two-thirds vote on any tax measure proposed by initiative. And since our feckless Legislature isn’t about to propose a tax increase, the initiative process is the only way one will even see the light of day. But with a two-thirds supermajority required for passage, it would be all but impossible to get anything save perhaps a casino tax increase enacted.

Oh, by the way, the two-thirds initiative would need only be adopted by a simple majority. Irony!

So, with property taxes capped, initiative taxes requiring two-thirds and a similar two-thirds requirement on the Legislature (thanks to then-Congressman Jim Gibbons), the odds are that Nevada — the second-most lightly taxed state in the nation — would never see another tax increase.

Third, even though there are some very well-meaning, intelligent and compassionate people serving in the Legislature, all of whom know the only way to fix some of Nevada’s most pressing problems is to create a tax structure that was made for the 21st century and not the 18th, silence will replace advocacy in legislative chambers.

In the state Senate, Majority Leader Bill Raggio was forced to utter a no-tax pledge in his primary race with Angle. Even so, more conservative members of his caucus (say, state Sen. Bob Beers) would stiffen spines even if Raggio had lame-duck second thoughts. If Beers were to lose re-election this year, that might change. But we’re thinking he won’t.

In the state Assembly, you have the potential for a Democratic supermajority. And you have Speaker Barbara Buckley talking about statewide town hall meetings to discuss the very issue of taxes, and a vision for Nevada that’s been so sorely lacking under the Gibbons maladministration.

But even with looming term limits, you have two basic necessities nagging at the majority party: Re-election, and the future. If nothing else, Republicans have been able to use anti-tax rhetoric to great effect in elections (look no farther than the recent primary). Assembly members who aren’t term limited will be thinking about that when they decide how they’ll vote. And Buckley herself, though term-limited in 2010, has aspirations to run for governor. The last person who ran from her party was defeated, in part, by a silly tax nickname. Would she risk a big tax fight in 2009 before she makes a bid for the highest office in 2010? Especially since her chief Democratic rival — Rory Reid — doesn’t have to tackle the issue at all from his perch on the Clark County Commission?

And Buckley can’t ignore the fact that the party re-elected in 2010 will draw district lines for the next decade, an awesome power that nobody wants to seen thrown away on a debate that may not be winnable. Decisions made in the 2009 Legislature will reverberate well beyond the 2010 election cycle, and we can’t help but think Madam Speaker would like her legacy to be a Democratic Assembly through 2021, at least.

And, many may argue, with Gov. No New Taxes in power, any efforts that don’t at least secure a solid two-thirds in both houses will be fruitless, thanks to both the two-thirds requirement and an almost certain gubernatorial veto of any tax plan.

Fiction? Not really. Watching Face to Face with Jon Ralston last week, we spotted at least two Democratic candidates who reacted to the word “taxes” the way vampires react to sunlight. We won’t use names, since we think their fear is probably (and unfortunately) shared by a lot of other candidates.

The remedy, alas, is undoing four decades of Republican rhetoric that taxes are bad, government is too big and inefficient and the private sector does things better. Each of those assertions is demonstrably false, but in politics, as our rabidly anti-tax friend Chuck Muth often says, if you’re explaining, you’re losing.

Finally, there’s the economy, which doesn’t look like it’s getting better any time soon. We’ve got major casino projects halted (Echelon) or having trouble finding credit (CityCenter). We have malls postponed (The Shops at Summerlin Centre). We have banks with huge losses (Silver State Bancorp). We still lead the nation in foreclosures, our unemployment is up, gaming wins are down and there’s a ticking time bomb in the state’s budget made up of retiree health care costs.

All of that means less money for a state that didn’t have much to begin with, and doesn’t show much promise of getting more. And, for the next two years at least, the response will be to cut budget so severely that Nevada may take decades to recover, if at all.

To conservative Republicans, this no doubt sounds like the perfect storm: Less tax money means shrinking government, and more free market. To humans, however, it’s a prescription for a very dismal future, in which “freedom” becomes a synonym for “you’re on your own, bitches; civilization is what you can afford!”

Anybody got the 800-number for U-Haul?

We were blogging-negligent last week, readers, having the primary election to cover. And that means we got behind in our observations. We remedy that today with a list of Quick Hits, still fresh thanks to the preservative of our acerbic wit. They’re FDA-safe! Here we go!

• Here’s a fun drinking game. Any time a Bush administration official bitches about how wrong it is for the Russians to invade a sovereign nation, take a shot! (Trust us, you’ll need it to dull the pain after getting slammed so hard in the face with all the unacknowledged irony.)
• Iraq to America: Kindly get the fuck out. (We’re paraphrasing, of course.) But if President George W. Bush is so big on democracy, and respecting Democratic governments, why is he still foot-dragging when a democratically elected government is demanding a “very clear timeline” for withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq?
• So Francis Allen’s soon-to-be-ex husband is bitching about her alleged “malicious defamation of my character.” He’s probably referring to the flier in which she described his behavior as “unstable, even volatile.” But he admitted under oath that he stabbed himself in the arm during an argument, which is pretty unstable and volatile behavior. So how can Allen’s description of him possibly be either malicious or defamatory? Unless … unless he was lying in court about what really happened?!
• Could somebody please send Las Vegas Councilman Ricki Barlow a copy of the United States Constitution, which he once swore an oath to defend? We think he might need it.
• Quotable: “I think it is wonderful except it just goes to the key areas. You need to go downtown. You need to go where the density of both destination and trip-origination are.” — Actor George Takei, aka Capt. Hikaru Sulu of Star Trek fame, on the Las Vegas Monorail. Now, as the former helmsman of the U.S.S. Enterprise, and later the captain of the U.S.S. Excelsior, we think Takei knows a little something about getting to your destination…
• The story. The unbelievably understated correction (you’ve got to read down to the third one). In other words, an entire story we told you about yesterday is pretty much bullshit, so disregard it. Hey, shouldn’t that be called a “retraction”?
• Quotable: “I think Congress ought to be in session today and not on a book tour around the country. [House Speaker] Nancy Pelosi sent us on vacation.” — U.S. Rep. Jon Porter. A couple things here: First, Porter has taken part in at least some “shadow sessions” of the Republican caucus, speaking to tourists in a darkened chamber. If he really wanted to be in session, why not keep up that protest? Second, where was Republican Minority Leader John Boehner during the initial days of that protest? Golfing, of course!
• How U.S. Sen. Harry Reid took over the Democratic Party in Nevada and turned it into … well, a political party.
• So, let’s do the list of Democrats Who Should Know Better Who Have Caved on Offshore Drilling: State Sen. Dina Titus. U.S. Sen. Barack Obama. Now House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. You know, we think the Republicans have won this one…
• And that’s odd. In any other political climate, Republicans turning themselves in total industry whores by staging fake House sessions and even threatening to shut down the entire government in order to give record-profit making oil companies precisely what they’ve demanded even as voters are paying around $4 per gallon for gasoline would be something of a political loser, no?

Nevada political punditry has been riven this week with some of us saying Tuesday’s primary results are evidence of a surge in right-wing voting power and some saying that taxes and other core GOP issues had nothing to do with the losses of some faux Republicans in primaries.

For the record, of course, it’s totally the former. Don’t let anybody tell you differently!

That’s not to say that we’re urging you to discount the work of our respected colleagues Anjeanette Damon of the Reno Gazette-Journal or Jon Ralston of the Las Vegas Sun and Face to Face with Jon Ralston. Both Damon and Ralston argued in blogs and columns this week that factors other than ideology played the starring role in Tuesday’s results.

(A reminder: Republican Assembly members Francis Allen, Bob Beers and John Marvel were defeated in primaries by more conservative challengers, while Senate Majority Leader Bill Raggio hung on to his seat by fewer than 600 votes against more conservative challenger ex-Assemblywoman Sharron Angle.)

Now, Ralston and Damon are right to point out that Allen faced a tsunami of negative publicity right around election time after she was arrested on charges of stabbing her new husband (the charges were later dismissed). And Ralston is correct when he says that Beers was a bit of a nut, and Marvel was a career politician in an era of term limits. And to call Angle ineffective is an understatement, her recent victory on the property tax initiative front notwithstanding.

But let’s look at a few facts in favor of our theory, espoused in a column this week in CityLife and an earlier post on this very blog, shall we?

• In a low-turnout primary, it’s primarily the ideologically motivated voters who turn out to the polls. In this case, that means inveterate GOP voters, those who would be receptive to an argument that certain incumbents were not true to the Republican philosophy.
• Taxes, or more particularly the promise not to raise them, was an issue in each and every one of the primaries we mentioned above. Allen’s refusal to sign an anti-tax pledge was highlighted, whether or not Beers broke the pledge was debated; Marvel’s 2003 vote to raise taxes was not forgotten and Raggio — who did not sign — nonetheless was maneuvered into promising not to raise taxes in his battle with Angle.
• While it’s true Allen was done in by the stabbing story, the GOP has been after her for years, because of her friendship with Democrats (the horror!). The arrest thus became a tool they used to accomplish a longstanding goal. But it was by no means the only reason for her defeat.
• The mood of the electorate in Nevada is toward a more conservative Republican. Look at how supporters of Ron Paul managed to derail the state convention. Look at how the hatred of unions (an issue also on the national level) was used in Beers’s primary race. Look at how the lion of the state Senate — a man who has prevented the north from being steamrolled by the more populous south for decades — came so close to defeat at the hands of a person with a nearly perfect losing record.
• Nationally, conservatives are upset at being saddled with U.S. Sen. John McCain, who is not one of them, no matter how hard he tries to appear otherwise. Republicans can’t really do anything about that, however. They could (and did) make more conservative choices in down-ballot races.

We at Various Things & Stuff are not ones to give undue credit to conservative Republicans. But in this case, the more conservative elements of the party clearly scored some victories, and they did so because of ideology. At least that’s what this particular corner of the pundit universe thinks!

UPDATE: Count the Review-Journal editorial page and columnist John L. Smith in the column with us (gulp!) and the Las Vegas Gleaner in the column with Ralston/Damon. Do take time to read the comments to the Gleaner post, as the one from College of Southern Nevada Professor Michael Green is especially worthwhile.

Republicans, after mastering the ability to detect previously undiscovered subatomic particles even smaller than quarks, have confirmed the existence of a “Republican soul” so tiny as to have gone undiscovered well into the age of quantum physics. They immediately began fighting over it.

Only kidding. The technology does not yet exist to detect the “Republican soul,” which many quantum physicists continue to insist is a myth.

But the fighting? Oh, that’s real, baby. And it’s playing out across the state of Nevada today in a little thing you may have heard about, known as the “primary election.”

In that election, more conservative Republicans (we like to call them “chaos conservatives,” inasmuch as they wouldn’t mind seeing government thrown into chaos by budget cuts and program eliminations) are battling it out with non-ideological or Establishment Republicans for the title to the party. Here’s a few races to watch:

• Washoe County: State Sen. Bill Raggio (Establishment Republican) versus Chaos Conservative Sharron Angle. Angle, who is sometimes referred to as a “movement conservative,” apparently a pejorative reference to the human excretory system, is challenging Raggio, the state’s longest-serving state senator. Angle has pursued limiting property taxes — thus far to no avail — and voted against pretty much everything during her unremarkable career in the Assembly. Raggio, who has voted for taxes in the past, is a wily master of the process in the upper house and a lone bulwark against Southern Nevada power banking. Angle has made the Iron Man of the Senate nervous this time around, but we think he’ll pull it out by day’s end.
• Assembly District 4: Assemblywoman Francis Allen (non-ideological Republican) versus a trio of more-to-the-right Republicans you’ve never heard of before. The GOP has been trying to knock Allen off for almost her entire Assembly career, mostly because she’s friendly with Democrats (and why not? They’re more fun) and refuses to sign a no-tax pledge (”It’s forever!” she exclaims.) Despite a truly awful radio interview performance on KNPR-FM 88.9 and since-recanted allegations that she stabbed her soon-to-be-ex-husband in the arm, Allen stands a chance of winning this one. If the Republicans had settled on a single nominee, they might have had a better chance. As it stands, if she wins this one, we think she’ll win forever.
• Assembly District 21: Assemblyman Bob Beers (non-ideological Republican) versus Jon Ozark (conservative Republican). The assemblyman shares a name with the conservative state senator, but that’s where the similarity ends. Beers carried a bill favored by unionizing dealers at Wynn Las Vegas to prevent tip-stealing at that upscale property, and he’s made comments about Republicanism being an “ill-fitting suit” for him. Enter conservative challenger Ozark, who’s out-raised and out-mailed the incumbent.
• Assembly District 32: Assemblyman John Marvel (conservative Republican) versus a bunch of other Republicans, including former Assemblyman Don Gustavson. Yeah, remember that 2003 tie-breaking vote to pass $832 million in new taxes, the one that prevented a Republican minority from holding the state hostage well into fall? Apparently, the GOP hasn’t forgotten, even if Marvel’s constituents have endorsed his continued service in 2004 and 2006. And since taxes are an even bigger issue in rural Nevada than down here, there could be trouble in … in … in wherever it is that Marvel is from up there in the rurals. Battle Mountain, maybe?
• Clark County Commission District A: Would-be Commissioner Brian Scroggins versus an unnamed Republican to be named later. Even if Scroggins wins the leftover votes in a Bruce Woodbury-free primary, he may not be the eventual nominee. Should the suddenly term-limited incumbent win, it won’t count, and the party will get to pick the nominee, and that might not be Scroggins, even if he’s the next highest vote-getter. Although he’s been a loyal party member, Clark County Republicans can be a contentious bunch, and they may want somebody else for the job, admittedly more for pragmatic than ideological reasons.

And all that’s to say nothing of the battle going on nationally, where disaffected conservatives look scornfully on John McCain, who is trying to become more conservative by the moment. He’ll benefit from the inexplicable Hillary Clinton supporters who can’t stomach Barack Obama, but there’s little doubt that plenty of right-wingers in McCain’s own party see this is a race to sit out.

(Oh, some may be tempted to fix things by having Obama pick Hillary as a running mate, but that would be stupid.)

Isn’t this exciting people? If you haven’t voted already, get thee to a polling place! And tune in tonight to VegasPBS (Channel 10) where we’ll be discussing the race with Nevada Week in Review’s Mitch Fox. And if you still can’t get enough, tune in at 9 a.m. tomorrow to State of Nevada on KNPR-FM 88.9, where we’ll chat about the results with a bevy of local journalists including host Dave Berns, conservative commentator Chuck Muth and our colleague Jon Ralston.

We just noticed something: It’s hot outside! So hot, in fact, that we at Various Things & Stuff are heading to beautiful Southern California for a summer respite. Don’t worry, we won’t be abandoning you for long. New blogs will be back Monday, Tuesday at the latest.

In the meantime, our agenda includes, in no particular order, the delicious hand-crafted India Pale Ale made exclusively by the Steelhead Brewing Co. outlet in Irvine, Calif.; the even-more-delicious hand-crafted cigars in our travel humidor (whose origin, we’re afraid, must remain classified); the sumptuous delights of the Crab Cooker in Newport Beach, Calif., more beer, a side trip to the  soon-to-close Acres of Books in Long Beach, Calif., and of course the best little beach in all of North or South America, the one called “Huntington.”

See you all when we return!

Pulitzer-prize winning journalist and author Ron Suskind went on Countdown with Keith Olbermann last night to talk about his latest book, The Way of the World. The central contentions: The Bush administration knew full well there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq before the 2003 invasion, yet ordered the war anyway. In addition, officials allegedly faked a letter from an Iraqi informant to create a fake link between Saddam Hussein’s Iraq and the Sept. 11 conspiracy. The Los Angeles Times has more.

Now read that first paragraph again.

And think about this:

The administration knew there were no WMD in Iraq.

Before the invasion.

But they told us there were WMD, and that’s why we had to invade.

And they went in anyway.

There’s a name for that: It’s called conspiracy to commit murder. And it’s been something that author and former Los Angeles prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi has been talking about for months, with scant media attention, following the publication of his own book, The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder. Bugliosi made a pretty damn good case before, and Suskind’s work will only buttress it.

In his Countdown appearance, Suskind said the book raises issues of “constitutional significance,” implying that impeachment was a probable result of the charges. We agree; if lying to the American people and taking the nation to war under false pretenses doesn’t qualify as “high crimes and misdemeanors,” then the phrase has no meaning.

Unfortunately, although House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has allowed the Judiciary Committee to hold impeachment hearings, she has said flatly that no articles of impeachment will be drafted or introduced on the House floor. (It simply wouldn’t do to rattle cages this close to an election, you understand.)

But impeachment is only a provision to remove a corrupt official from office, and Bush’s term ends in about five months from now anyway. The real question is, will America allow the president to get away with causing the deaths of more than 4,100 brave American soldiers, and thousands of Iraqis, all based on a goddamn lie?

Buglosi says no. And so do we.

This is the second-best Paris Hilton video ever uploaded to the web. Or so we’ve been told.

See you at the debates, bitches!

Is U.S. Sen. Barack Obama full of hubris?

Some people think so, including our corporate overlord, Stephens Media LLC President Sherm Frederick. He said as much in his Sunday column in the Review-Journal.

Frederick cites Obama’s excellent adventure overseas, and a visit to Washington, D.C., quoting a Washington Post item about the event:

“The 5:20 TBA turned out to be his adoration session with lawmakers in the Cannon Caucus Room, where even committee chairmen arrived early, as if for the State of the Union. Capitol Police cleared the halls — just as they do for the actual president. The Secret Service hustled him in through a side door — just as they do for the actual president.

“Inside, according to a witness, he told the House members, ‘This is the moment … that the world is waiting for,’ adding: ‘I have become a symbol of the possibility of America returning to our best traditions.’ ”

Sounds fairly arrogant, right? But let’s take a closer look.

First, there’s little doubt that Obama’s going to generate applause overseas. He’s the first American with a chance of sitting in the Oval Office that most Europeans have seen in eight years who’s not a warmonger. If the Germans and the French opposed the war, and Obama is all about ending the war, what would surprise anybody about the fact that they like Obama but dislike, say, President George W. Bush?

Second, Obama is under the protection of the U.S. Secret Service. They do things like ask police to clear hallways, move protectees around in motorcades and bring people in side doors. It’s called doing their job.

Obama’s rival U.S. Sen. John McCain is also under Secret Service protection. We don’t hear much about McCain being arrogant, even after a legitimate news reporter was kicked out of a holding area.

Third, the quote in question was taken completely out of context by the Washington Post’s Dana Milbank, whom Frederick is quoting in his own column. Obama’s actual quote was this:

“It has become increasingly clear in my travel, the campaign — that the crowds, the enthusiasm, 200,000 people in Berlin, is not about me at all. It’s about America. I have just become a symbol.”

“It’s not about me at all.” Well, that certainly sounds like hubris, doesn’t it?

No, actually the hubris belongs to Milbank, who instead of apologizing for his error (which appears to have been based on another Washington Post writer’s reporting) called critics whiners. And when some of those critics turned out to be the staff at Countdown with Keith Olbermann — where Milbank had appeared for four years but which banned him from appearing on-air until he issued an explanation — Milbank simply decided to jump ship and join CNN instead.

For that record, that’s what hubris looks like.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But there is, we suspect, something wrong with kicking out legitimate news reporters who are simply waiting to interview U.S. Sen. John McCain. Or has the Arizona senator morphed once again to become more like George W. Bush?

We understand the legitimate purpose of security for the candidates, both of whom enjoy protection from the U.S. Secret Service. But the reporter in question, who just happens to be black, had not only press identification issued by his newspaper, but also press credentials to cover the McCain event that day!

So he was standing in the wrong place? Yeah. OK.

Access to the senator is tightly controlled,” [McCain advance man Jonathan] Block said. “I would first express regret that your reporter was moved, and I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that race had nothing to do with it.”

You no doubt read recently that the Nevada Supreme Court ruled in favor of former Assemblywoman Sharron Angle, who is waging a lonely, misanthropic quest to cut funding for the firefighters, police officers, doctors, nurses and schoolteachers who make up the backbone of our communities in Nevada.

(We thought Angle had, once again, failed, until the ruling gave her vicious quest new life.)

The high court — quite correctly — found the Legislature had set a date too early for the filing of initiative petitions, such as Angle’s latest attempt to impose California-style property tax limitations in Nevada. The ruling expanded the signature-gathering period by nearly a month.

And, you’ve probably read that Angle’s initiative — thanks no doubt to the extra time — qualified in Clark County. (Under a highly suspect and probably unconstitutional law, the initiative also has to qualify in each of the other counties, with a varying number of signatures required in each. We are waiting now to hear the results of the canvass. The deadline is today.)

Now, you would think with Angle’s three previous failures to qualify this initiative, the experience of her failed bid for Congress and the extra time granted by the state Supreme Court, that she’d have finally made it, right?

Not so fast.

A law firm hired by the Nevada State Education Association has reviewed the petitions filed in Clark County, and discovered that the affidavit that’s supposed to be signed by the person who circulated the petition was not notarized on at least 832 pages, as required by law. And in the “vast majority” of those cases, the pages weren’t signed by anybody. That means those signature pages must not be counted as valid, the union’s attorneys say. (See the complaint for yourself, below.)

But wait, there’s more: Up in Carson City, one person signed the affidavit, but the address listed belongs to a different person, who also notarized the affidavit. That means either the notary circulated the petitions, and then notarized them, which makes the signatures invalid, or the first person circulated the petition and improperly filled out the affidavit, which also makes them invalid.

The Secretary of State has sent Angle a letter with the complaint attached. We’re guessing she’ll say something about the union wanting big, fat paychecks for its members, which only proves that Angle has no idea what they pay teachers these days. Besides, no amount of rhetoric can fill out defective petitions after they’ve been turned in.

Another Angle failure? It looks that way right now.

nsea-complaint.pdf

UPDATE: This just in, from the secretary of state’s office. According to county clerks across the state, Angle’s property tax petition does have enough signatures to quality. However, because of the challenge lodged by the NSEA described in this post, Secretary of State Ross Miller will not certify the petition for the ballot until the charges have been resolved. And that means Angle cannot celebrate victory just yet, or perhaps ever, since Miller has strictly interpreted the petition requirements on a series of other would-be ballot measures this year. Stay tuned, readers.